Dipper's Aladdin
by SophiaCrutchfeild
Summary: What happens when a poor boy meets a rich girl? Why, he finds a genie in a magic journal to try and get her hand in marriage! But with a genie in love with sparkles, a psychotic creep as a rival, and little to no ability to play the Prince, will Dipper ever win the hand of the fair maiden, Princess Pacifica?
1. One Jump Ahead

Author's Note: I watched Aladdin for the first time recently, and kept on picturing Pacifica and Dipper, and… this happened. It's not great, but… Whatever. Love me or hate me, just review me! Or, you know, not. Either way is good. I like reviews though, and try to take all the viewers' opinions and put them into the story… Whatever. This Author's Note has gone on too long.

Oh, and some of the characters are from both universes, and others are just OC's, but no major characters. However, some characters are drastically changed.

 _Italics are lyrics mostly shoplifted right from the movie._

 _It begins on a dark night, where a dark man waits, with a dark purpose…_

Okay, sure. Let's play up that whole "dark" aspect. News flash! The dark isn't always bad!

In this case, however, it was… not great.

"You're late," the man, a vicious, power-hungry man by the name of Gideon, hissed at the thief who he's been waiting for from up on his high horse. Literally, he was riding on a horse.

"Yeah, yeah, a thousand apologies, I came didn't I?" the young girl said sassily.

"You have it?" Gideon enquired.

"Duh," the girl smirked, "I mean, I had to… well, my manicure didn't exactly prove to be blood-proof, but I got it."

"Give it to me," the pale man with the white hair insisted.

"Jesus, calm your farm," the girl rolled her eyes. "Give me my treasures first."

Suddenly, a parrot swooped down and grabbed half of a medallion out of her shirt.

"Hey! Tell your damn bird to quit feeling me up!" the girl complained.

"Don't be alarmed. You will get what's coming to you," Gideon hissed.

"What's coming to you! Aawk!" The bird screeched.

"I don't _want_ 'what's coming to me,' I want the price we agreed on," the girl spoke through gritted teeth.

"Here," Gideon pulled a bag of gold out of his sleeve. "You'll find two-hundred gold pieces in there."

"Thanks," the girl muttered, looking in and quickly counting out 203. "You gave me three extra, you know," she told him.

"Consider it your tip," he smirked, a thin, disturbed smirk.

"Great," the girl said, before vanishing into the night.

Gideon pulled a second half of the amulet out of his sleeve, and pieced the two together to form a shooting star, which leapt from his hands and flew across the desert of Arabia.

Gideon kicked his horse, and rode off, in pursuit of the star, which eventually buried itself in the sand.

A majestic cave, shaped like the head of a lioness, rose from the ground.

"At last," Gideon murmured.

"You again? I thought I told you to leave me alone," the lioness growled. "Only _one dude_ can get in here, and it sure isn't you!"

"Who is it then?" Gideon asked, anger in his voice.

"One who's worth lies within," the lioness said with a grin. "A diamond in the rough. Seek him out, and you gain access to the lamp."

With that, the lioness quit talking, and blew Gideon and his bird across the desert, and covering them in bright pink glitter. (A/N: Who knows who the genie is?)

"Great," the bird groaned. "Just fantastic! Where are we supposed to find a diamond in the rough?"

Dipper Pines was running across the roof of a shop, a loaf of bread in his hand.

"Stop, thief!" a guard called after him.

"Dude, has telling someone, 'Stop, thief' really ever worked for you?" Dipper called over his shoulder.

"I'll have your hands for a trophy!" the guard hollered.

Dipper looked down at his hands. "You still aren't making me want to stop," he laughed.

He jumped off the roof to zip-line across two clotheslines, collecting various apparel as he did so.

Unfortunately, that was when he slammed into a brick wall and fell to the ground.

"Ugh!" he rubbed his head, and saw Lazy Susan, the washerwoman, laughing at him.

"Morning Lazy Susan," he said cheerfully.

"Well, I see you're getting into trouble early today," she remarked.

"Nah, it's only trouble if you get caught…" Dipper trailed off as a guard yanked him up my the front of his shirt. "…I'm in trouble."

However, just at that moment, a monkey pulled the guard's turban below his eyes, and Dipper pulled free.

" _Gotta keep one jump ahead of the bread line; one swing ahead of the sword! I only steal what I can't afford- that's everything!"_ Dipper sang out.

As he sang, he quickly escaped only the top of a pile of barrels.

" _One jump ahead of the lawmen, that's all, and that's no joke! These guys don't appreciate that I'm broke!"_

He kicked several barrels down on the guards, and ran to the top of a platform. However, he left when the guards began shaking the platform, and ducked into a window.

" _I can take a hint, got to face the facts: you're my only friend Soos!"_ Dipper told the monkey. Then, he realized he had jumped into the middle of a harem, and the girls were all smirking.

" _Who?"_ they asked, alarmed. Then, taking in the scene, they began teasing him relentlessly.

" _Oh, it's sad, Dipper here has hit the bottom,"_ a snarky redhead said, giving him a shove.

" _He's become a one-man rise in crime!"_ a pretty, petite girl he recognized as Candy told the others, laughingly.

" _I would blame the parents, except that he hasn't got them!"_ a muscular girl named Grenda joked.

Dipper laughed. _"I've gotta eat to live; gotta steal to eat; I'll tell you all about it when I've got the time!"_ he said before jumping into the street, and hiding behind a row of fish barrels, but then looked up and saw the fish vendor glaring at him, and rushed away, to be chased by guards.

"All this for a loaf of bread?" he muttered. _"One jump ahead of the slowpokes! One skip ahead of my doom! Next time I'm going to use a nom de plume!"_ (A/N: Yep, that's the lyric, no, I don't get it.)

As Dipper ducked a sword, he rolled his eyes, and proceeded to run across a flock of sheep.

" _One jump ahead of the hit man! One hit ahead of the flock…"_ Hit eyes lit up as an idea came to him. _"I think I'll take a stroll around the block!"_

He lead the men through an alley riddled with performers, including a man on a bed of nails, a… what was that, a priestess?... walking across hot coals, and a man swallowing swords… one of which Soos stole.

"Shit, he's got a sword!" a guard yelled.

"We all have swords," another deadpanned, and stuck his own against Dipper's jugular, making him press against the door.

"Um… _let's not be too hasty!"_ Dipper tried to talk the guards down, but was saved by the door opening and a teasing girl giving him room to get away.

" _Still, I think he's rather tasty,"_ she said, causing the guards' attention to be momentarily shifted…

Until, that is, Dipper swung his arm around their shoulders cheerfully.

"Look, _I gotta eat to live; gotta steal to eat; otherwise we'd get along!"_ he smirked at the guards turned to him- he was already on the next roof. They chased him, but he showed plenty of bravado to the crowd that had gathered, and was yelling angrily at him.

" _One jump ahead of the hoof beats! One hop ahead of the hump! One trick ahead of disaster, yeah they're big, but hey, I'm faster!"_

The guards had chased him to the edge of the roof, and Dipper looked down.

"End of the line, Thief," a guard grunted out.

Dipper smiled, and grabbed a carpet.

"Okay, here goes, better throw my hand in! Wish me a happy landing, all I have to do is jump!"

With those words, he jumped right off the roof, using the carpet as a parachute until he landed safely in an alleyway, leaving the guards behind.

"Well," Dipper shrugged, looking at the bread, "I guess it's time for dinner..." he trailed off, seeing a young girl with her smaller friend digging through old scraps. He split the bread in half, and gave half to Soos, and tossed his own half to the kids.

"Take it," he told the kids, who smiled.

"Thank you," the girl whispered.

Soos, with a roll of his eyes, tossed the girls his half as well. Dipper smiled. Then, he saw- what else? - Another child in need, running in front of a horse on which a rich-looking blond guy sat.

Dipper ran up to get to the kid, but was very surprised- not to mention pissed- when the man, who in all actuality didn't look much older than he himself (15), shouted at the kid.

"Out of the way, you filthy brat!"

Dipper jumped right in front of the horse.

"Hey, rich boy!" he called up.

"Ugh, why must the riffraff interrupt me? I am here to woo the princess!" the guy complained.

"Doubtful. The princess won't be interested in a guy who can't even afford to buy himself manners!" he called, angrily.

The guy kicked Dipper right into a mud puddle.

"Ah, would you look at the street urchin," he simpered. "You know, a flea-bitten rat like you isn't even worth my time."

With that, the blond guy entered the palace, leaving Dipper to walk off, fury in his gait.

"I'm not worthless," he muttered. "I bet I'm smarter than Blondie, anyway. And I don't have fleas."

He trekked up to the abandoned building where he was staying, and looked around.

" _Riffraff, street rat, I don't buy that. If they looked closer, would they see a poor boy? No siree. They'd find out there's so much more to me…"_

He pulled back a curtain to look at the beautiful palace.

"Someday, Soos, we're living there. We'll have servants, and books, and go to school… real school, not just learning out of swiped books. Some day, all our problems will dissapear."


	2. Meeting Princess Pacifica

Author's Note: Everyone hates author's notes.

"I HAVE NEVER BEEN SO INULTED IN ALL MY LIFE!" the blond guy shouted, storming out of the palace with rage… and without the back of his pants, exposing puppet-covered undergarments.

"Oh, Prince Gabriel, are you leaving so soon?" the Sultan asked, tensely.

"HELL YES I'M LEAVING! Good luck convincing a prince to get married to _her_ ," he cried, before leaving in a huff. He hoped he wouldn't run in to that smart-mouthed street rat again.

The Sultan entered the garden that Gabriel had stormed out of to see his daughter lounging on the side of a fountain, studying her nails and stroking a tiger.

The tiger held scraps of Gabe's pants and underwear in his mouth.

"Pacifica!" the Sultan spoke angrily. "What is the meaning of this?"

"That overdressed, self-absorbed blowhard of a prince tried to grab my ass, so I sicced Rajah on him," she said, sounding bored and pissy as any princess ever.

"Beggars can't be choosers. You've rejected _every single prince_ who came asking, and you turn fifteen in three days!" her father spoke with a stone-cold tone.

"What is the big deal? You're Sultan, just change the law about me marrying a prince by age 15 and we can be done with this mess," Pacifica complained.

"Listen, it isn't just the law," her father said. "Look, I won't live forever, and you need someone to take care of you."

"I'm not helpless, Daddy! At least, I wouldn't be if you would just let me leave the palace once in a while!" Pacifica shouted, standing up and balling her hands into fists.

"You are a princess! I suggest you behave like one!" her father yelled back.

"Maybe I don't _want_ to be a princess anymore!" Pacifica cried, tears in her eyes, before stomping away furiously.

"Argh!" the Sultan stomped away himself to his chambers. "Where on Earth does she get it from? Her mother was never so… so… inflexible!" he muttered as he paced. He started suddenly as a shadow crossed his own.

"Hello, Grand Sultan," Gideon said with a smile as he bowed.

"Gideon, good to see you," the Sultan positively beamed at the man. "I need some advice."

"What's wrong?" asked the tall, pale man.

"It's Pacifica… again. She won't choose a prince, and we're running out of time," the Sultan explained.

"Out of time! Aawk!" squawked Gideon's bird.

"Here, have a cracker," the Sultan told the bird, stuffing one in the bird's mouth and not seeing his look of disgust.

"You certainly seem to have a way with animals," Gideon said. "I can try and figure out a solution to the problem. I'll need your blue diamond though."

"What? No!" the Sultan cried, outraged. His demeanor changed, however, when Gideon twisted the amulet around his neck. "On second thought, if it is necessary…" he handed over the ring.

"You are most kind, Grand Sultan," Gideon said, with a hint of disdain in his voice that the Sultan didn't pick up on, and with those words, he left the room.

That night, Pacifica disguised herself as a commoner girl, and slipped out into the night.

Rajah came bounding after her, and stared at her with wide eyes.

"I'm sorry, but I have to go," Pacifica said. "Oh, c'mon, Raj, don't give me that look." She scaled the wall, and leaning down to stroke Rajah's head one last time, she disappeared into the night.

The next day, Dipper and Soos were up to their usual tricks.

"Okay, go!" Dipper told Soos. The monkey swung down from the awning of the fruit stand on top of which he and Dipper were standing, and attempted to snatch a melon.

"Hey! No thievery allowed!" the vendor snapped. While the vendor yelled at Soos, Dipper sneakily lifted a bushel of apples, and Soos leapt back onto the roof.

"Breakfast is served," Dipper smirked. Then, something- or rather, someone- caught his eye.

A beautiful girl, curls of corn silk blond peeking out from beneath her hood, and with eyes of vivid green, wandered through the market. Vendors showed her their various wares, and she was shocked when a particularly rambunctious vendor shoved a dead fish in her face, and she stumbled into a fire-eater, who swallowed his fire with a start.

"Watch it!" she mumbled, blushing furiously as the man belches a flame.

"Whoa," Dipper smiled. "She's beautiful."

She stopped at the fruit stand, and saw a kid reaching for an apple. She handed it to him with a smile… but stopped grinning when the vendor, a burly man, confronted her.

"You had better be ready to pay for that," he growled.

"Excuse me?" the girl asked, equally angry. "I don't have any cash on me at the moment, I was just helping the kid reach, how was I supposed to know he would run off?"

"Nobody steals from my cart!" the man shouted, pinning the girl's arm down.

"Look, I'll just stop by the palace and get some cash from the Sultan, now get off me!"

"Do you know what the penalty is for theft?" the vendor yelled, grabbing a knife. Suddenly, the girl seemed terrified.

"No, oh god, no!" she screamed as he began swinging the knife.

"Stop!" Dipper dropped to the ground and grabbed the man's wrist. "Thank you for finding her sir," he said to the vendor. Then he turned to the pretty girl. "I have been looking _everywhere_ for you, Mabel!"

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" the girl hissed at him.

"Saving your ass," Dipper hissed back. "Play along."

"You know this girl?" the vendor asked Dipper.

"Yeah, unfortunately I do. She's my little sister. She's a little… well, to be frank, crazy."

The girl looked shocked by this. The vendor looked unconvinced.

"She says she knows the Sultan," he told Dipper.

"She believes that my monkey is the Sultan," Dipper explained. Picking up on what was going on, the girl kneeled at Soos' feet.

"Oh great and wise Sultan, how may I serve you?" she asked, trying to keep the sarcasm to a minimum.

"Tragic, isn't it? But, no harm done," Dipper smiled, handing the vendor an apple from the bushel he'd snagged earlier. He walked over to the girl and grabbed her arm. "C'mon, Mabel, time to see the doctor."

"Hello Doctor," the girl said to a nearby camel.

"Not that doctor," Dipper laughed. "C'mon 'Sultan,'" he called Soos, and he pulled the girl through the crowd. It was weird, but when he looked carefully, she almost looked like the Princess…


	3. The Hood Comes Down

Author's Note: Um, I don't know what to say right here… whatever. Let's get on with the story.

Meanwhile, Gideon wandered through the halls of the palace, holding the ring. He entered the library, and pushed aside a bookshelf, revealing a passage into a darker chamber.

He slipped the king's ring out from his pocket, and placed it on a contraption that took up much of the chamber. He smiled as lightning struck through the ring, and passed into an hourglass below.

"Sands of time," Gideon crooned to the hourglass. "Reveal to me the one who may enter the cave…"

As the sand ran, an image appeared, of a fifteen-year-old homeless boy, pulling a girl up a ladder… a familiar girl…

"It can't be the Princess?" Gideon laughed, unable to believe his good luck.

"That's him?" Gideon's bird asked, flying in through the passage. "I've seen that thieving kid around the marketplace! Dippy something-or-other."

"Well, I suppose Dippy something-or-other needs to have a stoke of good luck, then, doesn't he?" Gideon grinned wickedly.

"Okay, Pretty Girl, we're almost there," Dipper told the pretty girl as he hoisted her up to the top of the ladder.

"You think I'm pretty?" she asked as she climbed over the top with only slight difficulty.

"Well, I wouldn't be calling you Pretty Girl if I didn't, now would I?" he asked. "Hey, what's your name anyway?"

The girl's eyes widened slightly, and she looked vaguely panicked. "Um… Pacifica," she said. "My parents named me after the Princess."

"Well, the first bit's true, anyway," he grinned. "I'll leave you be on the second bit, although I'm not sure _how_ it's not true…" He saw her shocked look. "Oh, I can tell when I'm being lied to," he said. "It's easy if you know how to read people."

"Oh," the girl- Pacifica- said, sounding highly alarmed. "Um, well, I just wanted to thank you for, um…"

"Not letting that guy cut off your hand?" Dipper asked. "Forget it. I guess it was your first time in the marketplace, then?"

"Was it that obvious?" Pacifica asked, sounding vaguely annoyed.

"Yeah, but even if it wasn't, you kind of stand out. We don't see that many non-royals with hair like yours," he said.

"And I'm pretty, too," Pacifica giggled.

"Gorgeous," Dipper agreed, before using a pole to jump between two roofs. He tossed Pacifica the pole. "Want to try?"

"Um…" she looked down. "Yeah, not exactly."

Dipper rolled his eyes and grabbed a plank of wood to place between the two buildings. "Here you are, your Highness," he teased. He didn't notice how she started, before she realized he was kidding. "C'mon, this way," he pulled her inside the roof of the abandoned building. "Welcome to my place."

"You live here?" Pacifica asked with wide eyes.

"You were expecting a mansion?" Dipper asked sarcastically. "It's not great, but Soos and I pretty much come and go as we please."

"Nice," Pacifica whispered, eyes filled with wonder.

"Well, it does have an okay view," Dipper said, pulling a curtain aside to show the palace. "It looks pretty damn amazing, am I right?"

"I suppose it does look pretty from here," Pacifica said quietly. "I doubt it's as pretty inside those walls, though."

"Are you kidding? It would be incredible to live there! You would have servants, and teachers, and books…"

"…And rules, and people forcing you into things, and no freedom," Pacifica added.

"It would be better than here," Dipper shrugged. "We wouldn't have to scrape for food, or hide from guards, and if, say, you were the Princess, there's no way that man would have threatened you today."

"You're not able to choose for yourself, and you're just…" Pacifica started.

"I don't know, sometimes you just feel like you're…" Dipper began at the same time.

"Trapped," they finished together.

They looked closely at one another, and for a moment, Dipper wanted to kiss Pacifica…

"Ahem," he cleared his throat. "So, um, where are you from?"

"Does it really matter?" she asked. "I ran away, and I'm not going back."

"Why?" Dipper asked.

"Well, you see… I'm being forced to… well, my dad's making me get married," she explained.

"What? That's bullshit!" Dipper exclaimed. "I mean that's not fair."

"Yeah…" Pacifica sighed.

"Is there anything I can do?" Dipper asked.

"That's sweet, but… I think I can save myself," the blond told him, and with those words, the two leaned in, and kissed each other softly. They pulled apart slowly.

"Wow," they whispered in unison.

Then, unfortunately, things went wrong.

Guards burst into the room, waving swords.

"There you are!" the head guard shouted.

"They're after me!" Pacifica and Dipper yelled at the same time. "They're after _you?"_

"My dad must have sent them," Pacifica began, but Dipper cut her off.

"Do you trust me?"

"What?"

"Do you trust me?!" he asked, extending his hand.

"Yes!" Pacifica said, grabbing it.

"Then jump," Dipper said, pulling her with him off the side of the roof. They landed safely in a pile of salt, but guards blocked their exit.

"We must stop meeting like this," a guard told Dipper. "Street rat."

"Don't call me street rat!" Dipper hissed angrily.

"It's the dungeon for you, boy," another guard hissed, grabbing him and sticking a sword against his throat.

"Let go of me!" Dipper growled.

"Yeah, quit throwing your weight around, you dickheads!" Pacifica shouted. Dipper flinched, and everything went silent.

"Pacifica…" Dipper said. "You might want to run."

"No!" Pacifica shouted, pulling her hood down. "I told _my guards_ to let you go, and they will, or _else!"_

The guards gasped in shock, and let Dipper go, bowing down to Pacifica, who gave them steely glares.

"This is how you treat my people?" she thundered. "You use your status to make them fear for their very lives? I am completely disgusted!"

"Your Highness, if we'd known it was you…" one of the guards began.

"Well, next time, I hope you remember this and show a bit of respect for the people you are meant to protect!" she hissed. "Next time I won't be so forgiving."

Meanwhile, Dipper was running. He was in complete shock. He couldn't believe it. She was a princess?

Well, at least now he knew- he'd never stood a chance with her.


	4. The Cave of Wonders

Author's Note: Okay, so you probably figured out that I changed the story a bit. It's MY STORY and I will do what I WANT with it. So there!

However, I'll stick as close to plot as I can.

Pacifica sat in her bedroom, in tears. Her father had refused to speak to her, and she was back right where she started. Again.

"Princess?" a voice came from the doorway.

"Gideon?" she asked. Sure, she hated the guy, but at least he was someone to talk to.

"I thought you might want to know that the vagrant who kidnapped you was caught," he said gently. "You're safe from him now."

"What?" Pacifica cried. "What are you talking about? I wasn't kidnapped, I ran away!"

"Oh… that's… that's very unfortunate," Gideon said, sounding upset. "If I'd known just an hour earlier, before the punishment was carried out…"

" _What punishment?"_ Pacifica asked, suddenly very afraid.

"Kidnapping the princess is an act of treason."

Pacifica gasped. _Death by beheading._ That was the punishment for treason. "No…no! Please, please, tell me it hasn't happened yet!"

"I'm sorry Princess, but I cannot tell you a lie," Gideon said quietly.

"Did my father authorize this?" Pacifica asked, tears in he eyes.

"I… he… He was out…" Gideon stuttered. "I am exceedingly sorry, Princess."

"How could you?" she screamed at him. "He was just a teenager! You," she sounded halfway between tears and rage now, "are a monster."

With that, she ran off into the garden, tears streaming down her face like rivers.

She hugged Rajah tightly and sobbed into his soft fur.

"It's all my fault," she sobbed, not caring how pathetic or ugly she might look. "I never even knew his name…"

Dipper sat in an alleyway with Soos on his shoulder, reading an old battered book he'd stolen years ago from a shop, when a dirty man who looked to be about twenty or so came up to him.

"Hey," Dipper said, not looking up. "What do you want?"

"I know how you can get your princess' heart," the man spoke quietly.

Dipper's head snapped up. "What?"

"There is, you see, a cave of wonders, a few hour's journey on horseback, but only one person can enter and make it out alive," the man said. "I have searched for that man for many years, and I believe that you may be he."

"Great. What does that have to do with anything?" the younger man asked.

"Inside the cave, there is a Journal. The Journal, when opened, gives the reader power. You could use that power to become a prince; win your lovely Pacifica."

"What incentive do you have to tell me this?" Dipper asked.

"I, as well, seek to look upon the Journal. Only you can enter the cave; only I can show you the way. Do we have a deal?" the man asked.

Dipper eyed the man suspiciously. "What's your name?" he asked.

"Gideon Charles Gleeful," the man said. Dipper noted that all the man had said so far was true, and nodded, taking his hand.

"Deal."

Several hours later, after dark, Dipper, with Soos in tow, and Gideon were finally approaching the cave.

"Who is it?" the lioness growled. "Oh, great. Gideon. I'm still not letting you in, jerk face."

"What about me?" Dipper asked, stepping forward. The lioness peered down at him.

"Hmm… fine. Touch nothing, with the exception of the Journal."

Dipper entered, smiling bemusedly.

"Remember!" Gideon cautioned. "Only take the Journal! Then, you may have your reward."

"C'mon, Soos," Dipper smiled, as he descended the staircase into the lioness' maw.

"Whoa," he whispered as he saw the mountains of gold. "There's a sight that a street rat doesn't see every day."

Soos seemed to agree, racing towards it.

"No! Soos! We can't touch anything except the Journal," Dipper reminded him. He sighed, and went back to Dipper's side.

Neither noticed the carpet come waddling behind them. (A/N: Guess who?)

Well, Soos did. He began freaking out when he saw the carpet moving of it's own volition. He began shrieking in monkey-speak at Dipper, who turned around to see nothing but a carpet lying on the floor, and Soos yelling at it.

"What the hell are you doing?" Dipper asked, completely nonplussed. Then, the carpet got up and ran behind a pile of treasure. "Oh. That makes more sense then. Wow, a magic carpet!"

The carpet waddled toward them, seeming very friendly.

"Maybe you can help us," Dipper said. "Do you know where the Journal is?"

The carpet instantly motioned for them to follow it. Dipper willingly followed it, and after a nervous look back, Soos did the same.

The carpet took them to a room with a huge staircase, and a single shaft of light falling on a journal on the pedestal at the top. Dipper raced up the stairs, not noticing that Soos was being hypnotically drawn to a huge ruby that lay in the hands of a statue of a golden monkey.

Dipper grabbed the Journal, and raced down the stairs… just in time for Soos to grab the ruby.

"YOU HAVE _TOUCHED_ MY _STUFF_!" the lioness yelled. "NOW YOU WILL NEVER AGAIN SEE THE LIGHT OF DAY!"

The cave began to crumble around them. "Shit," Dipper swore as the stairs beneath him collapsed…

Luckily, the carpet caught him. The carpet swooped down to save Soos, and flew out through the top before being suddenly hit by a boulder, leaving Dipper clinging to the edge of the cave.

"Gideon, help me!" he shouted.

"Give me the Journal, and I'll help you up, and share its power with you!" Gideon shouted.

For a second, everything around Dipper went still. Then he gave Gideon a wry smile. "That's a lie," he said, and he let go of the edge, the Journal still in his hand.

As the entryway was closed off by boulders though, the carpet pulled out from under the boulder, caught Dipper and Soos, and let them down gently to the ground, where they lay in the dark.


	5. The Genie fof the Journal

Author's Note: I am really banging this thing out! I really hope everyone is enjoying themselves as much as I am!

By the way, when I ran the idea of the genie being… well, who the genie is by a good friend of mine, he mentioned a flaw in the design, aka- her being referred to earlier. I just want to say this _will_ be explained. I promise, I'm proofreading.

The Sultan came upon Pacifica crying in her bed that night.

"What's wrong?" he asked, shocked. He hadn't seen her carry on about anything like this since she was a young child.

"Gideon… he did something terrible…"

The Sultan felt a twinge of sadness for his young daughter, who had so little freedom in her life, and put an arm around her.

"It's alright, Pacifica, I'll fix everything. I'm the Sultan remember? More importantly, I'm your father. I can do anything."

Pacifica just sobbed harder. "You can't, Daddy! Gideon killed a boy who saved my life!"

Dipper woke up on the ground.

"That dirty liar," Dipper hissed. "I'm going to destroy him!"

He looked at the old Journal in his hands. "Might as well," he thought, and he cracked the book open…

Instantly the cavern was engulfed in a cloud of glitter in every color imaginable, neon colored yarn, and… were those _small plastic dinosaurs?_

"Whoo-hoo!" squealed a high-pitched, feminine voice. "I'm back, baby!"

As the glitter cleared, Dipper saw a huge pink girl stretching.

"Man, does it feel fantabulous to be out of there!" she giggled. " _Butterflies are free to fly, fly away!"_ she sang cheerfully.

"SO, who are YOU?" she asked, bending down towards Dipper.

"Um, I… I'm Dipper, Dipper Pines," he said.

"OMG, no way! You're a Pines? I'm Mabel, Mabel Pines!" the genie squealed. Then she saw the carpet. "Ohmigosh! Waddles!" she cried out, hugging the carpet close to her. "I call him that because he waddles," she explained. "So, anyway, welcome to the show!" she said, as she pulled a microphone out of thin air, and lit up a scoreboard with the word "Dipper."

"Um…" Dipper was wondering what was going on.

"You know, my last master was a lot bigger than you. He had the whole, 'tall, ripped, and handsome,' thing going on. Well, either that or I've gotten bigger. Do I look fat to you?" she asked, sounding mostly unconcerned. "Nah, I'm as cute as ever."

"Hold on," Dipper said, holding up a hand. "Are you saying that I'm your master?"

"Duh, bro-bro. Didn't you know that when you opened the Journal?" she asked. "What would you wish of me then, the often impressive (she made muscles with her arms) often imitated (she said through a ventriloquist dummy) but never duplicated," she took a long pause, before speaking like a ring announcer in a boxing match, "Genie! Of! The! Journal!" she smiled. "I'm right here for your wish fulfillment, three wishes to be exact, no wishing for more wished, and no substitutions, exchanges, OR refunds!"

"Okay, I apparently hit m y head a lot harder than I thought," Dipper muttered.

"Dipping sauce, I don't think you really realize what you've got here," Mabel said, as music began to play. "Here, why don't you just ruminate, while I illuminate the possibilities?"

Suddenly Dipper found himself surrounded by forty armed thieves, all pointing swords at him.

" _Well, Ali Baba had his forty thieves, and Scheherazade had a thousand tales!"_

Mabel suddenly pounded the thieves into a pulp, and they disappeared.

" _Well, master, you're in luck, because up your sleeve, you have a brand of magic that never fails!"_

Dipper grinned, feeling a slight feeling of déjà vu about the magic… Suddenly, though, he found himself being spun around by the perky djin.

" _You've got some power in your corner now! You've got some reaper in what you cook! You've got some punch, pizzazz, yahoo and how, and all you have to do is open that book!"_ she sang, making fireworks explode around them.

" _I'll say, 'Sir, Mr. Pines Sir, what will your pleasure be?"_ Mable dressed as a waitress in a fancy diner. " _Life is now your restaurant, and I'm your maitre'd! Let me take your order, and jot it down, because you've never had a friend like me!"_

Next, she snapped her fingers and created several attendants, who pushed Dipper into a throne and lifted him up.

" _We pride ourselves on service, kid, you're the boss, the king, the shah! Say what you wish, it's yours! True dish! I'm better than any stupid star!"_

Suddenly she stuck out her tongue, producing a mini-Mabel, who danced around giant-Mabel's hands, on which she had apparently drawn faces. After a time, though, she made the mini-her dissapear.

" _Can your friends do this?"_ she asked, pulling swords out of thin air and juggling them. " _Can your friends do that?"_ She passed the swords to Dipper, who found that he suddenly could juggle swords. _"Can your friends pull this out of their little hat?"_ Mabel asked, grabbing Dipper's blue Pine tree hat and pulling out an enormous glittery pink bunny that disappeared in a puff of sparkles. _"Can your friends go poof?"_ Mabel enquired, blowing fire, which morphed into three pretty, scantily clad young girls that Dipper instantly pulled away from in embarrassment.

"Um… no?" he said.

" _Okay, then, look here!"_ Mabel smiled. " _Can your friends go abracadabra, and make the whole thing dissapear?"_ Dipper breathed much easier when the half-naked girls were gone.

" _Don't you sit there, slack-jawed and buggy-eyed! I'm here to answer your midday prayers! You have me bona fide, certified! I'm a genie to fix up all your affairs!"_ she sang out. " _I've got a powerful urge to help you out, so what do you wish? I really want to know! You have a wish list three miles long no doubt, all you have to do is read that book, oh!"_

She pulled the ground up until Dipper stood on top of a tall pedestal.

" _Hey, Sir Dipping Sauce, have a wish or two or three! I'm on the job you big nabob! You've never had a friend, never had a friend, no you've never had a friend, never had a friend, no, you've never had friend! Like! Me!"_

She finished, reverted the cave back to normal, and held up an electric "applause" sign.

"So, what's it gonna be, Dipper Pines?" she asked with a smile.

"Let me get this straight," Dipper said, still catching his breath from the whirlwind musical number Mabel had just preformed. "You can give me anything I want? Anything at all?"

"Um… no," Mabel crossed her arms. "Three things I can't do. One- I can't kill anyone," she said, suddenly serious. "Don't ask. I'm a fifteen-year-old girl, I'm not killing anyone."

"You're fifteen?" Dipper asked. "How did you end up in the Journal?"

"That's a long story," she said. "I'll save it for another day. Second, I can't make anyone fall in love with anyone else. I'm an expert matchmaker, but I have to use intuition, not magic. It just doesn't work," she shrugged. "Lastly, I _cannot_ bring back the dead. It's… not pretty when I try." She smiled brightly. "Other than that though, you've got it!"

Dipper was deep in though. Something about this girl seemed very familiar, although he couldn't put his finger on it.

"So, there are provisions? Limitations?" he said, sarcasm dripping from his every word. "I'd bet you can't even get us out of this cave!"

He turned around, and began walking away, but was stopped by Mabel appearing in from of him.

"Wanna bet?" she smirked, and with a snap of her fingers, Waddles slid beneath Dipper and Soos, and Mabel, now dressed as a pilot, jumped to the front. "Thank you for choosing Magic Carpet Airlines, please keep all hands and feet inside the vehicle, in case of an emergency, exits are to your left, right, front, back, anywhere! Now, we. Are. Outta here!" she said, blasting the entryway open and flying them out across the Arabia desert.


	6. The First Wish

Author's Note: Skip this. I'm writing.

The Sultan was upset. Very upset.

"Gideon, this is an outrage! If not for all your years of loyal service… From now on, I would appreciate it if you discuss these matters with me, preferably _before_ you go around beheading people!" he said, quite angrily.

"I assure you, our excellency, it will not happen again," Gideon promised. Then he turned to Pacifica. "My most humble apologies to you as well, Princess."

"F##k that!" she yelled. "When I'm Queen, the first thing I do will be getting rid of _you!"_

"Language," her father scolded, and she turned to him with wide eyes.

"You're letting him get away with this?" she laughed. "He's literally getting away with murder!" With that, she ran off, completely pissed off and thirsty for vengeance.

"Pacifica!" here father shouted, exiting after her.

Gideon's bird suddenly perked up. "What a bitch," the bird complained. "I can't believe we have to keep kissing up to that stupid bitch, and her stupid Sultan dad for the rest of our lives!"

"No," Gideon groaned. "Only until she finds an idiot husband. Then, we'll be banished… or beheaded…" he winced.

"What were you thinking, telling her that the kid was killed?" the bird asked.

"I was thinking that then she wouldn't go looking for him again, and he would think she forgot him, and I could use him to get the Journal. How was I to know that the kid was a walking polygraph?" Gideon muttered.

"Hang on…" the bird said. "What if _you_ were the idiot husband?"

Gideon stared at him blankly. "She's not even fifteen yet."

"So what? Marry her, then drop her off a cliff, nothing else required!" the bird chirped cheerfully.

"Hmm…" Gideon thought. "I like it."

The pair laughed, not having a clue as to the severe threat to their plans that was now landing in an oasis, smiling at his own intelligence.

"Please wait for the carpet to come to a complete stop before standing," Mabel said as the carpet landed and they got off. As she changed back to normal, she smirked. "So, how was that, Mr. Too-Cool-for-School?"

"You showed me," Dipper smiled. "So, about the three wishes…"

"Two," she corrected.

"No, three," Dipper smiled. "I never actually wished to get out of the cave. I dared you, but I didn't make a wish."

She thought about it, and realized what he said was true. "Huh. Okay, fine, but no more freebies!"

"I suppose that's fair," Dipper agreed. "So, three wishes… I want them to be good… hey, Mabel, what would _you_ wish for?"

Mabel almost fell out of the tree she's been climbing. "Me? No one's ever asked me that before… I guess… ah, forget it, it's nothing."

"What? C'mon, you can tell me," Dipper coerced.

"I guess I'd wish to go back to being a mage," she said.

"What?" Dipper asked, surprised.

"Well, I was a mage until I was six years old," she explained. "Then…" she sighed. "It doesn't matter. It'll never happen. I'll be stuck as a magic slave in a book until the day I die."

"That's awful," Dipper said, sounding truly sympathetic.

"Well, the only way for it to happen is for a master to _wish_ me free. That's not happening," she laughed bitterly, an unnatural sound for her.

"Well… I'll do it," Dipper said.

"Sure," Mabel rolled her eyes. "Of course you will."

"I mean it," Dipper said. "After I'm done with my first two wishes, I'll use my third to set you free." He held out his hand. "Deal?"

"Well…" Mabel looked at him. "I guess it can't hurt. Deal." She shook his hand, and beamed. "Okay, now let's make some magic! What do you want most?"

"Well… there's this girl…" Dipper began.

"Nope, sorry, I can't make anyone fall in love," Mabel said quickly.

"I know… but, she's smart, and she's funny, and…"

"Is she a hottie?" Mabel asked.

"She's beautiful," Dipper smiled dreamily. "She's got this long golden hair the color of corn silk, and these huge green eyes, and… she's gorgeous."

"Ah, yes, of course," Mabel smiled.

"It's just, she's a princess… a 'street rat' like me wouldn't stand a chance," Dipper sighed sadly. "I mean I would have to be…" he looked up, hope in his eyes.

"Yes?" Mabel asked sounding very interested.

"Mabel, can you make me a prince?" Dipper asked.

"Hmm… I can… Is that an official wish? Say the words!" she prodded.

"Mabel, I wish for you to make me a prince!" Dipper grinned.

"All right!" Mabel cheered. "Okay, clothes first- seriously, what impression are you trying to give with those patches? Here," she snapped her fingers, changing Dipper's tattered pants and open shirt with clothes befitting an Arabian prince, including a turban with a blue stone shaped like a pine tree in the center.

"Nice," Dipper smiled as Mabel showed him a mirror. "I'm actually clean for once."

"I like it, very macho, but we need something… ah! Yes!" she turned and snapped her fingers a few times at Soos, who turned, in quick succession, into a Camel, an ostrich, a Camaro, and finally an Elephant. "Perfect!" Mabel squealed excitedly.

"Looking good, Soos," Dipper said with a smile.

"Oh, don't you go anywhere!" Mabel said. "We're not done yet! Hold on to your turban, Dipper, because we're going to make _you_ a star!"


	7. Prince Alish Dafunprins

Author's Note: This chapter includes my favorite scene in the movie… and a scene that made me get very confused, which I changed in this, because guess what? No girl moves on to the next one that quickly after falling in love, especially if she thinks the guy is dead.

Also, just to be clear, Preston Northwest is the Sultan, but I've made him a little nicer. Also- Alish starts with A and ends with H. Guess why that's the name I chose?

Gideon entered the throne room to see the king.

"Sire, I've found a solution to the… er, problem, shall we say, with your daughter," Gideon said.

The Sultan looked up. "Oh? What might that be?"

Gideon pulled a scroll out of his sleeve and unrolled it. "It says here that if the Princess can't choose a suitor, then you can choose one for her."

"She hated them all," the Sultan said, visibly deflating. "She is my daughter; I can't force here to marry someone she despises."

"There's more," Gideon said. "If a suitor cannot be selected then… interesting."

"What?" the Sultan asked.

"It says if a suitor cannot be chosen, then the princess must be wed to the royal vizier… that would be… well, me."

"I thought only a prince could marry Pacifica," the Sultan said. "I'm quite certain."

Gideon twisted his amulet, and spoke quietly. "Desperate times call for desperate measures."

"Yes… desperate measures…" the Sultan repeated.

"You will order the Princess to marry me," Gideon whispered.

"I will… order the…" he shook his head. "What am I saying? You're five years older than her!"

" _You will order the Princess to marry me!"_ Gideon said.

"I will…" this time, the Sultan was interrupted by fanfare. He jumped up, and rushed to the balcony to see what was happening. "Gideon that may be unneccesary! Come see this!"

A grand parade marched down the streets.

" _Make way for Prince Alish!"_ sang a group of marchers.

" _Say 'Hey! It's Prince Alish!"_ a group of swordsmen sang out.

Mabel, twirling a baton, led the way, singing loudly and grabbing random people in hugs.

" _Hey! Clear the way through the old bazaar! Hey you! Let us through! It's a bright new star! Now come be the first on your block to meet his eye!"_ she sang cheerfully. _"Make way! Here he comes! Ring bells; bang drums! Are you gonna love this guy!"_

An elephant arrived, and large feathers parted, revealing "Alish," or, as he was better known, one Dipper Pines, smiling smugly.

" _Prince Alish! Fabulous he! Alish Dafunprins!"_ Mabel sang. " _Genuflect! Show some respect! Get down on one knee!"_ she commanded a row of guards, tripping them down to their knees.

Mabel proceeded to some blushing girls as she sang. " _Now, try your best to stay calm! Brush up your Sunday Salaam! Come and meet his spectacular coterie!"_ Mabel "wheel-barrowed" six men onto Abu's trunk, where they shook hands with "Alish."

" _Prince Alish! Mighty is he! Alish Dafunprins!"_ she sang as the men all fell on top of him. _"Strong as ten regular men, defiantly!"_ she sang, while giving him a little help to lift all six over his head.

Mabel slipped into the body of a village woman. " _He faced the galloping hordes!"_

Next, a little girl. _"One hundred bad guys with swords!"_

Then, she went back to normal and pulled the pile of men down from Dipper's hands. " _Who sent those goons to their lords? Why, Prince Alish!"_

Pacifica happened to walk on her balcony, and looking down, gave a soft scream of shock, before shaking her head. "Impossible…"

" _He's got seventy-five golden camels!"_ a chorus of men sang whilst carrying those camels.

"Don't they look lovely June?" Mabel said, dressed as a male newscaster.

" _Purple peacocks? He's got fifty-three!"_ sang a chorus of women, gesturing to a float holding those peacocks.

"Fabulous, Harry, I love the feathers," Mabel commentated, now dressed as a female newscaster. Then, popping back to her baton-twirler outfit, she sang out, " _When it comes to exotic-type mammals, has he got a zoo? I'm telling you it's a world-class menagerie!"_

Then, Mabel appeared with several other girls on a balcony, singing loudly and obnoxiously. " _Prince Alish! Handsome is he! Alish Dafunprins! That physique, how can I speak? I'm weak at the knee! Well, get on out to that square! Adjust your veil and prepare to gawk and grovel and stare at Prince Alish!"_ Then quietly to herself. "Ew."

Pacifica sighed sadly. Nope, that was too crazy to hope for. The boy from the market wouldn't be this stupid or shallow.

A chorus of people began singing again. _"He's got ninety-five white Persian monkeys!"_

" _He's got the monkeys! Let's see the monkeys!"_ several dancers sang.

" _To view them he charges no fee!"_

Dipper threw golden coins to the crowd below, which sang out, _"He's generous! So generous!"_

" _He's got slaves, he's got servants, and flunkies! All proud to work for him!"_

The Sultan rushed down, followed by Gideon, who blocked the door.

" _They bow to his whim, and love serving him! They're just lousy with loyalty to Alish!"_

The door began rumbling, and suddenly was kicked wide open by Abu the Elephant, squashing Gideon against a wall.

" _Prince Alish!"_ Mabel sang loudly. " _Prince Alish! Amorous he! Alish Dafunprins! We've heard you princess was a sight lovely to see!"_ she told the Sultan. " _That, good people is why he got all dolled up and dropped by with sixty elephants! Llamas galore! Bears and lions! A brass band and more! Forty fakirs, his cooks, his bakers! Birds that sing right on key! Make way for Prince Alish!"_ she finished as Dipper came zooming in through the open door on the magic carpet. Gideon slammed the door shut.

"All right, I'll give you props for showmanship!" the Sultan said, amazed. "This carpet is a magnificent contraption!"

"Um, sir," Dipper started, but then cleared his throat and spoke in a deeper voice. "Your Majesty, I have traveled from afar to seek your daughter's hand."

"Ah, yes, of course, I'm delighted to meet you," the Sultan said. Then he nodded to Gideon. "Gideon, shake the boy's hand."

Gideon forced a smile, and Dipper's eyes widened in surprise.

"This carpet truly is confounding…" the Sultan said as Dipper stepped down from it. "May I be so bold as to ask if I can try it?"

"Sure, hop on!" Dipper and Mabel said in unison. Déjà vu hit them both again, and they shook their heads. The Sultan stepped onto the carpet, and it flew up, did several loops, and flew out the window.

"Where did you say you were from?" Gideon asked suspiciously.

"Um…" Dipper stuttered. "I've come from afar…"

"Where, exactly?" Gideon asked.

"Um, farther than you've heard of, most likely," Dipper said.

"Try me," Gideon snapped.

Dipper was saved from having to answer by the Sultan landing messily in front of him.

"Nice!" Dipper complimented. "It took me ages to learn how to control that thing!"

"Well, I _am_ after all, the Sultan," the Sultan laughed. "You know, you seem to be a rather impressive youth, and a Prince as well! I think Pacifica will like you very much!"

"I… I…" Dipper blushed, and none of them noticed as the aforementioned Princess entered the room. "I'm pretty sure I'll like Princess Pacifica!"

"I must advise against this," Gideon told the Sultan. "He's no different than the others! What makes him think he's worthy of the Princess?"

"You're Majesty," Dipper interceded, "I am Prince Alish Dafunprins! Let her meet me, and I'm certain I can win her heart."

"Really? Because I'm not," Pacifica said. All heads instantly turned to Pacifica, who walked up to the group and turned to her father. " _You_ are not the boss of me." Then she looked at Gideon. " _You_ are a psychotic bastard." Finally, she turned to "Alish" and slapped him. Hard. "YOU ARE _NOT_ THE MAN I'M IN LOVE WITH!" she shouted. "AND IF YOU ARE, THEN YOU HAVE A HECK OF A LOT OF EXPLAINING TO DO AS TO WHAT THE F### IS GOING ON!"

With this she stormed out, leaving the three males in stunned silence.

"Um… yeah, Alish? Girls don't like being 'won.' It's sexist and wrong. I thought you knew that," Mabel said, before stomping out the door herself.

"Great," Dipper said, rubbing the side of his face where Pacifica had hit him. "I am so screwed."

"Au contraire," the Sultan said. "She just needs to cool down for a bit…"

"AND I DO NOT 'JUST NEED TO COOL DOWN FOR A BIT' FATHER!"

"…Um, good luck?" the Sultan offered.

"Thanks. I'll need it," Dipper sighed.


	8. Enter Sandman

Author's Note: You may not agree with me on this, but I was always bored by "A Whole New World." So… I changed it? XD yeah man! If you don't know the song, it's called _Enter Sandman_ by Metallica. Also- No offense is intended to anyone.

"What am I going to do, Mabel?" Dipper asked later that night. "Pacifica won't even talk to me! I need help."

Mabel changed into a leather jacket and sunglasses. "Alright, Sparky, here's the deal," she said in an imitation of Jack Nicolson. "You wanna court the little lady, you gotta be a straight shooter, do you follow me?"

"Um… no, I'm sorry, what?" Dipper asked.

Mabel popped back to normal and spoke slowly. " _Tell… her… the… TRUTH!"_

"Are you kidding? If she knew I was a street rat…"

"SHE MADE OUT WITH YOU WHEN SHE THOUGHT YOU WERE A 'STREET RAT!'" Mabel exploded. "All of that aside, you really should be yourself. I know I always am!"

"Do you have a boyfriend?" Dipper asked.

"Of sorts," Mabel said coyly. "That's not the point though, the point is that nobody likes being lied to!"

"I'm not telling her, Mabel," Dipper said. "I'm not telling her I've been on the street since my family was murdered when I was six. I'm not telling her about all the innocent people I've robbed because I had to survive. I'm definitely not telling her that I'm the clueless kid she met in the streets!" He took a deep breath. "I… I'm going to go see her, though. Maybe… I'll try being myself. Maybe."

With that, he jumped onto the magic carpet and flew up to the balcony. "Pacifica?" he called. "It's me, Di- Prince Alish!"

She came out with crossed arms and loose hair. "Why the hell are you on my balcony?"

"I… I wanted to see you…" he said, trying to seem smooth, and failing miserably. She smirked at him.

"I did not. Seeing _you_ makes my retinas hurt," she said. Then, Dipper almost thought he heard her say, "You look too much like _him._ "

"Well, um…"

Mabel flew by his ear suddenly, as a butterfly. Luckily, Pacifica was in the middle of making a point by not looking at him.

"Talk about her!" the Butterfly hissed at Dipper.

"Um… ah, I just wanted to say you're very…"

"Beautiful, smart, sexy, punctual," Mabel offered up.

"Punctual," Dipper finished.

"What," Pacifica said flatly.

"Um… beautiful?" Dipper offered up.

"Smooth," Mabel deadpanned.

Pacifica's hard look softened. "You know, I'm rich too," she said seductively, slinking up to him like a lynx.

"Um, so I hear," Dipper said.

"I'm the only daughter of a Sultan," she smiled, flashing straight white teeth.

"Yep," Dipper said weakly.

"I would be a _perfect_ prize for a prince like you to marry," she said, trailing a finger along Dipper's jaw.

"Uh, right… yeah, a perfect… um what?" Dipper asked, suddenly afraid.

"Watch it!" Mabel said, seeing the spark of spite flashing in Pacifica's eyes.

"Right, for you and every other blowhard, ass kissing, dickhead prince who's come in here!" she yelled.

"I'm out," Mabel said, flying away quickly. "Peace!"

"You, Prince Alish Dafunprins, can take a long walk off of a short balcony!" Pacifica shouted angrily. "I only fell in love once, and he's dead now!"

"Hello! Dude, she's talking about _you!"_ Mabel said.

"Yeah, right," Dipper said.

"WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY!?" Pacifica yelled.

"Um, I said, you're right," Dipper improvised. "You're not a prize to be won, and I'm a jerk. I'll go now." With that, he jumped off the balcony.

"No!" Pacifica shouted in horror. When she told him to take a long walk off a short balcony, she hadn't meant it literally!

"What?" Dipper poked his head up from over the edge. "What is it?"

Pacifica looked down in shock. "How are you doing that?" she demanded.

"Oh," Dipper smiled, rising up higher, to reveal that he was standing on top of Waddles. "It's a magic carpet."

"It's… really cool," Pacifica smiled a bit.

"I'll take you for a ride," Dipper said instantly. "We could escape the castle for a while, and see a bit of the world…"

"Is it safe?" Pacifica asked.

"Sure, do you trust me?" Dipper asked.

Pacifica started, and stared at "Alish." "What did you say?"

"Do you trust me?" Dipper asked again, holding his hand out.

"Yes," Pacifica said, looking amazed, and a little confused, but mostly shocked as she grabbed his hand. She let the shock fall from her face though… well, until the music started… and got louder…

"What the…?" she asked. "What is that?"

"Never heard metal before?" Dipper asked. " _Say your prayers, Pretty one, and don't forget, my love, to include everyone!"_ he sang, jerking the carpet up above the clouds wildly, with a cocky, yet genuine, smile. _"I tuck you in, warm within, and keep you free from sin, until the Sandman he comes!"_

Dipper plunged the carpet down, picking up at the very last moment and snatching a yellow rose from the side of a river, and giving it to a very scared and excited Pacifica.

" _Sleep with one eye open, gripping your pillow tight!"_ Dipper said, flying the carpet through the clouds. He smiled reassuringly at Pacifica, who laughed, starting to get into the music.

" _Exit: light! Enter: night!"_ he sang. " _Take my hand,"_ he sang, offering it to Pacifica, who grabbed it with excitement and anticipation. He gave her a devilish grin and soared even higher and faster. _"We're off to never-never land!"_

"Whoa. Okay, this is amazing. I said it," Pacifica said, with huge eyes.

"Thanks," Dipper smiled. Then, he sang to her some more. " _Something's wrong! Shut the light! There's heavy thought tonight, and Princess, they aren't of Snow White!"_ he winked.

" _Dreams of war, dreams of liars, dreams of dragon's fire, and of things that will bite,"_ Pacifica sang back, poking Dipper in the ribs.

" _Sleep with one eye open, gripping your pillow tight!"_ they sang together.

" _Exit: light!"_ Dipper shouted.

" _Enter: night!"_ Pacifica screamed back.

" _Take my hand!"_ Dipper said, squeezing hers.

" _We're off to never-never land!"_ the pair cried.

"Enjoying yourself, Pretty Girl?" Dipper shouted over the music and wind.

"Wait, what?!"

"Are you enjoying yourself?"

"Immensely, you idiot!"

" _Now I lay me down to sleep…"_ Dipper began.

" _Screw the lord, my soul is mine to keep,"_ Pacifica added.

" _If I should die before I wake,"_ they chanted in unison. " _At least I'm through with being fake!"_

They laughed, and Dipper sang the next line. " _Hush, Pretty Girl, now don't say a word, and never mind that noise you heard!"_

Pacifica joined in to sing with him, " _It's just the beasts under your bed, in your closet, IN YOUR HEAD!"_

They did a few loops and pounded their fists in the air. " _Exit: light! Enter: night! Grain of sand! Exit: light! Enter: night! Take my hand!"_

" _We're off to never-never land!"_ Pacifica sang the final line.

For the moment, everything was perfect.


	9. Truth and Lies

Author's Note: I guess not everyone likes Metallica… ah, well, deal with it.

Also, I'm thinking of doing a few more Disney/Gravity Falls stories after this. Any ideas?

Pacifica smiled, and happiness shone in her vivid eyes.

"Man, Alish," she whispered. "This is crazy. I've never left Agrabah before. I've never left the palace before."

"Lie," Dipper said, offhand. Pacifica's eyebrows shot up as Dipper continued. "I can tell, remember?"

"I recall," Pacifica said, smirking. "Now tell me this… how the hell are you alive?"

Dipper started, suddenly realizing what he'd said. "Uh… You know, we should probably be heading back now…"

"No way! Look, I _know_ it's you, and it's useless pretending. You owe me an explanation Alish… or is that even your name?" she asked, starting to get mad.

"Um…" Dipper looked at her. "Okay. I'll tell you."

"The truth?" Pacifica asked.

"…Yeah," Dipper said finally. "First off, I don't know who told you I was dead, but they were lying. I escaped the guards easily. Second, I fell for you as soon as I met you, before I knew who you were, and… well, I really am a Prince. A bunch of really complicated things happened, and now I'm here, but if you want me to go, I will."

"Oh…" Pacifica said, blushing lightly at his claim that he fell for her. "No, it's alright. I don't really need to know… I just wanted to be sure it was you."

"We really should be heading back now," Dipper said.

They flew back to the palace, and Dipper dropped Pacifica off.

"Goodnight, my Prince," Pacifica whispered, as she leaned over the balcony.

"Night, Princess," Dipper said, standing on the carpet. Suddenly, the carpet pushed up, and they were kissing.

"Now I know it's you," Pacifica said with a smile that, to Dipper, looked like the first golden sunbeam of the morning.

"I love you, Pacifica," Dipper said, honestly. "What do you want me to do?"

"Hmm…" she thought about it. "You're definitely a Prince?"

"Definitely," Dipper said.

"Then I suppose… it's about time I chose a suitor," Pacifica smiled, and entered her bedroom coyly.

"Wow," Dipper whispered, as he floated down to the garden. "Finally, things are going right for a change."

"GET HIM!" a voice shouted.

Suddenly, Dipper found himself being held down and gagged by seven men, while another came up to him, and lowered his hood.

"Well, well, well," Gideon said. "If it isn't Dipper Pines. I thought you looked familiar."

Dipper tried to speak, but found that the gag in his mouth prevented that.

"WHERE IS THE JOURNAL?" Gideon roared. Dipper gave him a blank look. Did he really expect him to answer? He was _gagged_ for crying out loud! He couldn't answer even if he wanted to!

"Right," Gideon said. "That _would_ be an issue… if I didn't have this," he said, rubbing his amulet. " **Where is the Journal?"** __Gideon asked, and the bonds were taken from Dipper's mouth.

"Up your ass!" Dipper sneered.

Gideon twisted his amulet harder. " **You will tell me where the Journal is. Then, you will leave, and never return."**

"Oh, sure," Dipper said. "You just get these guys o let go of me, and I'll certainly do that."

"Why isn't this working?" Gideon yelled.

"I can't be hypnotized, genius," Dipper said. "Nobody's ever been able to."

"Argh!" Gideon yelled. "Fine! Guards, tie up the dirty bastard and make sure he's never found!"

Then he leaned close to Dipper's ear. " _After you're out of the way? Pacifica's going to take a little trip… off a cliff."_

Mabel was asleep when she felt the gentle tugging that meant the book had been opened.

"Great, Dipper, it's the middle of the night," she complained…

"Not Dipper," came a voice.

Mabel spun around and her eyes lit up. "Bill!" she cried, hugging her best friend. "It's so good to see you!"

"You too, Star," Bill grinned, but then became serious. "Look, Star, I think Dipper's ready for his second wish."

"What?"

"I'd say you have about three minutes before he drowns," Bill said. "You're welcome."

"Oh my god," Mabel said. "Take me to him _now."_

Bill grabbed her hand, and in a flash of light they were at the bottom of the sea.

"Oh, and Shooting Star?" Bill said.

"Yeah?"

"His real name isn't Dipper. That's a nickname. His name is Alex Pines."

Mabel's eyes widened, and she pulled Dipper to the top of the cliff.

He choked up water, and opened his eyes. "Mabel?" he asked.

"Yeah," she said. "You know, I just found out something very interesting…"

"We need to get back to the palace, now," Dipper said. "Gideon's going to kill Pacifica!"

"Right. Life and death. I'll tell you later," Mabel said quickly, flying Dipper back.

Pacifica was brushing out her hair. " _We're off to never-never land…"_ she sang softly.

Then, suddenly, her father knocked at the door.

"It's open!" she called. The door swung open. "Daddy, I just had the best time _ever!"_

"I have chosen a suitor for you, Pacifica," her father said in a monotone. "Your birthday is tomorrow. You have no time left."

"What?" Pacifica asked, shocked.

"You will be married to Gideon," her father said, and with that, Gideon himself entered. Pacifica suddenly realized that her father's eyes were glowing blue.

"What? No! Daddy, I chose Prince Alish!" she said.

"Alish left," Gideon said calmly.

"Lie," Dipper said, standing behind Pacifica.

"What the…? How did…?" Gideon spluttered.

Pacifica looked relieved, and ran to him. "Alish!" she said furiously.

"What did I do…?" Dipper asked.

"I'm not mad at _you_ ," Pacifica clarified.

"Oh. Okay, good," Dipper smiled, but that quickly dropped when he turned to Gideon. "Tell them the truth, Gideon," he hissed. "Tell them how you tried to have me killed!"

"He's lyin'!" Gideon said angrily.

"Lying," the Sultan said in monotone.

"What is WRONG with you?" Pacifica yelled.

"Don't worry," Dipper said, marching up to Gideon. "I can take him."

He grabbed the amulet from around Gideon's neck and smashed it to the ground.

"What…?" the Sultan blinked. "What is _happening?_ "

"Gideon's been controlling you, your highness," Dipper said, showing him the broken amulet. "With this."

"What? Gideon? You… you traitor!" he shouted. "Guards, take him away!"

The guards tried to do so, but Gideon pulled a vial from his pocket and smashed it to the ground, allowing a haze of red smoke to envelope him, and he disappeared, knocking Pacifica over.

"Pacifica," Dipper ran to help her up. "Are you okay?"

"I'm not helpless, babe," she said sarcastically, but she accepted his help, and gave him a soft kiss.

"Am I to believe my eyes?" the Sultan asked. "Has my picky daughter finally chosen a suitor?"

"What can I say? I like guys with a bit of a rough edge," Pacifica grinned.

"Thanks," Dipper said dryly, but smiled adoringly at her.

"Well, as her father, I am going to encourage this in any way possible!" the Sultan informed Dipper. "You will be wed at once, and you, my boy, will be the next Sultan!"

"Wait, what?" Dipper asked, suddenly alarmed.

"Well, yes," the Sultan smiled. "A prince of your upstanding moral character will make a great Sultan indeed."

"…Right. Thank you," Dipper said.

A prince. He hadn't lied, when he told Pacifica he was a prince… but the implication that he'd always been one? That was a lie. Moral character… great…


	10. Lies Come to Light

Author's Note: Hello. Read.

Gideon was in his secret chamber.

"Okay, we need to get out of here, now," his bird said. "I'll start packing, don't worry, we'll be out in a few minutes…"

"Ha!" Gideon laughed. "HA, HA, HA!"

"Okay, you've cracked," the bird commented. "Okay, get a grip, Gideon!"

"No, no, no, you misunderstand me," Gideon laughed. "He's a street rat! He thinks he can become a Prince! He doesn't understand that without the Journal, he's nothing! He's got no muscles, no brains!"

"Yeah, well, he _does_ have the Journal, so we're screwed, aren't we?"

"No," Gideon grinned. "See, this is why you've been playing the part of a dumb animal for so long… you are not going to be suspected… when you bring me the Journal."

"ME?"

Dipper paced back and forth in his new room. "Sultan? They want me to be sultan?" he muttered under his breath.

"I know, isn't it great?" Mabel asked him, popping out of the Journal. "So, I found out this piece of information yesterday…"

"I can't believe it; this isn't what I thought would happen! I really didn't think this through…"

"Um, Dipper? I found out something that might _really concern you…"_

"Now they want me to be Sultan? No, wait, they want Alish Dafunprins to be Sultan, not Dipper Pines…"

"Um, yeah, about that? As in, your name? Um, you see, I heard that Dipper isn't actually your real name…"

"It's because of you! They only like me because you helped me out! I have no clue what I was thinking… I…"

"LOOK, YOU WON, NOW QUIT COMPLAINING ABOUT IT AND LISTEN!" Mabel shouted.

"I CAN'T DO ANYTHING HERE! THIS IS CRAZY! I FELL FOR A GIRL AND LIED A LOT AND NOW I'M SUPPOSED TO RULE A COUNTRY! I CAN'T KEEP THIS UP!"

"…by yourself," Mabel finished. "Huh. I guess I'm not getting freed after all, am I, 'your highness?' You know what? Never mind what I was going to tell you. I just realized that it doesn't matter."

With that, she slipped back into the book, completely dejected.

So what if she didn't get her wish? Yesterday she'd learned that her parents were dead… and her brother?

Her brother apparently didn't even care enough about her to listen when she tried to tell him the most important thing to her- _that her twin's name had been Alex Pines, and she was his sister._

Dipper sighed as he left the room.

"Alish!" he heard a voice call him. _Pacifica._

"Maybe I should tell her…" he muttered. He took a deep breath. "Coming, Pacifica! Where are you?"

"Menagerie," she called back…

Dipper came into the menagerie, though, and found it empty. "Weird…"

Mabel felt the Journal being opened.

"Go Away," she said. "I'm not talking to you."

"Ah, but you must," the voice said. Mabel swung around, fear and horror in her eyes.

"Oh no…"

"Oh, yes. I've finally got you, my peach dumpling," Gideon said with a cruel laugh.

"How?" Mabel asked.

"Did you know that parrots can imitate any voice they hear?" Gideon asked, gesturing to his bird. "Well, the same holds true for the South American Rainbow Macaw. When poor Dipper Pines… or should I say, your brother dearest... heard his princess call for him, well, he just couldn't resist a nice, open conversation, now could he? They're such a sweet couple, so _honest_ with each other."

"You leave them alone!" Mabel said.

"Trust me, I intend to leave him very much alone…"

Dipper finally found Pacifica right inside the main balcony, behind a curtain.

"We need to talk," he said.

"Right now?" she asked. "We're on in, like, five seconds."

"I just have to…" he was cut off by the Sultan pulling them both on to the balcony.

"People of Agrabah!" the Sultan called out. "My daughter has finally chosen a suitor, the famous Prince Alish Dafunprins!"

Suddenly the sky darkened.

"Or not," a voice came from the sky. Gideon came down, being carried by Mabel. "Genie, my first wish is to be Sultan of Agrabah!"

"What?" the Sultan was shocked as his turban flew off his head, and landed on Gideon's.

"Didn't you hear the news? I run this town now," Gideon sneered as Mabel was forced to lift the palace into the clouds.

Dipper whistled for Waddles, who came flying up instantly. He jumped on and flew up to Mabel.

"I know you're mad at me, Mabel, but what the hell are you doing?" Dipper asked.

"It's not my decision," Mabel snapped. "If you would have listened to me, then you would know that!" She set the palace down atop a mountain.

"Bow down," Gideon commanded the former Sultan, as well as Pacifica.

"Not going to happen!" Pacifica shouted, hatred filling her voice.

"Somehow, this doesn't shock me," the bird told Gideon.

"If you won't bow down to a Sultan, then cower before a sorcerer!" Gideon yelled. "Genie! My second wish is for you to make me the most powerful sorcerer in the world!"

Mabel sighed, covered her eyes, and fulfilled his wish. Blue light surrounded him, and his amulet reappeared.

"Now, where were we? Ah, yes, pure unadulterated humiliation!" Gideon laughed.

He twisted his amulet, and blue light surrounded Pacifica and her father, forcing them to kneel before the sorcerer.

"Let them go!" Dipper shouted, complete hatred and vengeance filling his every word.

"Ah, yes, Princess Pacifica, there's someone I'm simply ecstatic to introduce you to!" Gideon said, twisting his amulet and enveloping Dipper in a red glow. " _Prince Alish, yes it is he, but not as you know him! Read my lips and come to grips with reality!"_

He pinched his fingers, and Dipper cried out in agony.

" _Yes, meet a blast from your past who's lies were too good to last! Say hello to your precious Prince Alish!"_

He closed his fingers, and in a flash of light, "Prince Alish" disappeared, leaving the skinny, tired 'street rat.'

"Alish?" Pacifica asked sounding alarmed.

"Dipper Pines," Gideon sneered. "A liar, a thief, and a street urchin. _Prince Alish turns out to be merely 'Dipper!'"_ he sang, as he zapped Soos back to a monkey. " _He's a con, need I go on? Take it from me!"_

"I tried to tell you," Dipper said desperately.

"I don't care! I told you I didn't!" Pacifica told him. "I care about _you!"_

Gideon lifted up Dipper, Waddles, and Abu, and sent them flying through a window of a tower.

" _His personality flaws give me adequate cause to send him packing on a one-way trip, so his prospects take a terminal 'dip!' His assets frozen, the venue chosen is the ends of the earth, for free!"_ he sang, launching the tower away.

"Dipper!" Pacifica cried, trying to run after, but being pulled back by the blue glow.

" _So long, ex-prince Alish!"_ Gideon laughed, as Pacifica slowly began planning her revenge…


	11. A Bargain and a Snake

Author's Note: Oh my god, it feels _so freaking fantastic_ to be typing! The keys feel better than silk and roses and water on a hot day and everything in between!

Sorry, I just needed to say that. I couldn't write for over twelve hours, and that wasn't going so well for me. Actually, I was sort of freaking… ah, well; here you have your chapter!

Dipper tumbled out of the tower as it landed sideways. He landed in the snow, with no sign of civilization in sight.

This may have been okay when he was a prince, and dressed in soft fabrics that mostly covered him. However, an open shirt, torn shorts, and sandals were not ideal for this weather.

"Soos!" he called, searching for the monkey, who scampered up to his shoulder quickly, shivering. "Aw, man, this is all my fault! If I'd just told the truth we wouldn't be in this mess!" Soos nodded, agreeing. "I have to get back and set everything right… somehow…"

"Yeah, Pine Tree, you really should," came a voice from behind him. Dipper spun around. "The name's Bill Cipher. You know my Shooting Star, and I know your Princess. Last I checked, both were in trouble, so how's about a deal?"

The man wore a top hat, eye patch, and tailcoat, and carries a golden cane. He had a sharp-toothed grin, and a yellow snakelike eye. Then there was the fact that he was glowing with yellow light, and floating a few feet off the ground.

"What kind of deal?" Dipper asked.

"Although this pains me to do, a fair one," Bill said, crinkling his nose at the word 'fair.' "I'll get you and your companions back to the Palace, but then, you have to save both of the girls. Deal?"

Dipper recalled the last time he made a deal with a man who turned out to be a demon. This was obviously a demon… but right now, Dipper would do just about anything to fix the mess he'd made… he just hoped that it worked in reverse, and a demon could turn out to be a man, too.

"Deal," he said, shaking Bill's hand.

Bill snapped his fingers, and the tower disappeared into nothing, revealing Waddles, who flew up to Dipper, who instantly jumped on.

"Here's where demonic powers come in handy," Bill grinned, snapping his fingers again, creating a portal into the palace. "Get to it, Pine Tree!"

Pacifica was basically in the most awful, demeaning situation she could think of- chained to the throne in what basically amounted to glittery lingerie. Gideon was cackling, and had tied up her dad, and Dipper was… hopefully alive, but quite possibly not.

Gideon suddenly pulled at the chain around Pacifica's waist, forcing her towards him.

"It pains me to see you reduced to this, Pacifica," he said, taking a bite of an apple he had forced her to hold. "A lovely royal blossom such as yourself should be on the arm of a powerful man."

"I will be," Pacifica said calmly. "Dipper will come for me."

"Dipper Pines? He's likely dead from hypothermia by now," Gideon said. He twirled his finger, and a crown appeared out of thin air. "Come now, Princess, with you as my queen…"

"You," she spoke coldly, "are a delusional psychopath."

She picked up a glass of wine and threw it right in his face.

"Oh!" Gideon cried out, raising his hand to strike her. "I'll teach you respect!"

"Go right ahead," Pacifica taunted. "Hitting me won't make me bow down. Nothing you can do will _ever_ make me feel anything but disgust for you!"

"Oh really?" Gideon asked. "Genie, I've decided my third wish."

"What do you want now?" Mabel asked. "No wait, let me guess, more power?"

"No," Gideon said. "I wish for you to make Princess Pacifica fall madly and desperately in love with me."

"No way!" Pacifica yelled at him.

"I can't," Mabel said simply. "It doesn't work that way."

"WHAT? YOU WILL DO AS I SAY!" Gideon yelled. Pacifica was now very confused. Was she going to have her will destroyed or not?

It became apparent pretty quickly that Mabel wasn't doing anything for some reason… and just as she decided this, she saw a flash of yellow light in the back of the hall behind Gideon and Mabel, and Dipper stood in the doorway. He waved at her, and motioned for her to play along before starting to scale the wall.

Pacifica smiled, seeing an easy way out of this, _and_ how to humiliate Gideon at the same time. She reached down to where the crown Gideon had conjured up for her lay on the ground, and placed it on her own head.

"Hello, lover boy," she said teasingly to Gideon slowly walking up to him.

"Now was that so hard to do?" Gideon asked Mabel, who was staring with shock written all over her face at Pacifica. Dipper was looking sick, and shaking his head quickly.

"I never realized how incredibly attractive you are," she said seductively, and Dipper swung across the rafters. "Really, it's quite a mystery."

"I see," Gideon said, grinning, believing quite certainly that he'd won.

"Dipper?" Mabel whispered, seeing him standing on a rafter.

He pressed a finger to his lips, and Mabel lowered her voice even more. "Look, I can't help you right now, what's your plan?"

"Um… in general? Swoop in, save you and Pacifica, and defeat Gideon," Dipper said. "I'm a street rat, and I'm owning that. I'll improvise."

He slid down a pile of gold, and hid close to Pacifica and Gideon.

"You know what else?" Pacifica whispered in Gideon's ear. "I think that I'm going to enjoy showing you what a little something feels like…"

With that, she gave Gideon a swift kick right between his legs. He bent over, and Dipper jumped out, laughing hysterically.

"That was _awesome!_ " he told Pacifica. "Five star performance!"

"Thanks, Dipper, baby!" she said, smiling and tossing her hair. "The costume could use some work though…"

Dipper tossed her his vest instantly.

"You!" Gideon shouted angrily at Dipper. "How many times do I have to kill you?"

He sent a zap of electricity in Dipper's direction, but the younger boy simply took a step to the left, and the beam missed him. He then ran and snatched the amulet, and with a hasty jiggle of a pin, he unlocked Pacifica from her chains.

"Get the Journal," he told her.

"No duh," she smirked, running to snatch it, but Gideon had taken back his amulet, and created a glowing red hourglass, entrapping Pacifica inside.

"Shit," she muttered, banging on the glass furiously. "You are going to be so screwed when I get out of here!" she screamed at Gideon, who laughed.

"Your time seems to be up, princess!" he cackled.

"Pacifica!" Dipper shouted, running towards her.

"I'm fine, he's just getting sand in my hair, go get the Journal," Pacifica griped. "I can break out fine myself."

"But-"

"COULD EVERYONE STOP ASSUMING I CAN'T TAKE CARE OF MYSELF?" Pacifica raged, pounding, and cracking, the glass. "See? I'll be fine, go!"

"I doubt that," Gideon hissed.

"Go to hell, you cowardly snake!" Dipper shouted as Gideon lifted him up using his amulet.

"Snake? Easier said than done," Gideon sneered. "However, I'll do my best!" he shouted, transforming into a giant cobra.

"Shit," Dipper whispered. "I should _not_ have said that."


	12. Happily Ever After?

Author's Note: We're close, guys, really close… in fact, this may just be the final chapter! Or… not… I actually am not sure. Either way, I hope this chapter doesn't disappoint! Thank you!

Dipper reached for a sword from the pile if riches he had slid down, and balanced it with a smile. Years on the streets were good for learning how to handle a weapon. He swung the sword and struck Gideon, causing a decent gash.

"Rule them! Rock them! Rack them! Rake! Stick that sword into that snake!" Mabel shouted, dressed as a cheerleader and waving pom-poms.

"Sssstay out of thisssss!" Gideon hissed at Mabel, who pulled out a tiny, flimsy pennant with a G on it, and waved it tiredly.

"Gideon, Gideon, he's our man, if he can't do it, GREAT!" Mabel deadpanned.

Dipper used the distraction to hit Gideon again, and this time, he stabbed deeply. Gideon howled in agony.

"Now you will be sssssorry!" Gideon hissed, wrapping around Dipper, trapping him. "You really thought you could defeat me? Face it, kid, you're nothing without that Journal!"

Dipper smiled. "Wait a second… you know, Mabel has way more power than you'll ever have!" Dipper told him.

"What?" Gideon asked, furiously.

"She gave you your power, and she can take it away!" Dipper taunted. "Doesn't that upset you?"

"Dipper, what the heck are you doing? Leave me out of this!" Mabel said sounding highly concerned.

"I think _you're_ the one who should face the music. You're always only going to be second best!" Dipper gave the final dig.

"You're right," Gideon said softly. "Her power does exceed mine… but not for long!" he twisted towards Mabel, who shrunk back, looking… not pleased.

"Naw, you're powerful! Dipper's just crazy," Mabel said, sounding very afraid now.

"Mabel! I make my third wish! I wish to be an all-powerful genie!" Gideon grinned.

"Great. And this, people, is why I will never understand why everyone thinks he's so smart," Mabel muttered, zapping Gideon. At that moment, Pacifica finally managed to break out of the hourglass, and ran to where Dipper lay, unmoving, from where Gideon had dropped him.

"YES!" Gideon cried. "THE POWER! THE ABOSOLUTE POWER!"

"Dipper," Pacifica whispered. "What did you just do?" she looked at Gideon, and Mabel, and suddenly saw something. "Oh my god…"

"THE UNIVERSE IS MINE TO COMMAND, MINE TO CONTROL!" Gideon yelled.

"Wait a sec, Gideon, I think you've forgotten something!" Pacifica shouted up to him, holding something in her hands… something that had appeared at Gideon's feet…

"What?" Gideon asked.

"Hmm… how's _this?_ " Pacifica held up the black lantern in her hands. Black shackles appeared on Gideon's wrists. "You wanted to be a genie? _This is the price!"_ Pacifica told him.

"No…NO!" Gideon shouted as he was pulled into the lantern.

"So I guess he was smart after all…" Mabel said quietly.

"Was?" Pacifica looked at Mabel.

"I…" Mabel's eyes filled with tears. "Look."

Dipper hadn't moved an inch since Gideon dropped him. He lay on the ground, like a marionette that's strings had been cut. Pacifica ran to him, and lifted his head.

"No…" Pacifica whispered. "I…"

She felt his wrist for a pulse, and stopped breathing for a moment…

…

…

…

"Nothing," she whispered brokenly.

"Is he…?" Mabel asked.

"I think…"

"Wanna know what I think?" a voice came from above them, and in a flash of golden light, Bill Cipher came down. "I think that we can cut a deal…"

Dipper woke up to see Pacifica's face staring hopefully down into his own. "Hey, Princess," he said scratchily.

"Dipper!" she hugged him tightly.

"How am I alive?" Dipper asked her. "I must have fallen thirty feet…"

"Well, you see, um…" Pacifica said, nervously. "We may or may not have made a deal with a demon to save you."

"Don't worry, Pine Tree," Bill said, entering the room. "I basically just asked out a girl…"

"Me!" Mabel said, ecstatically. Then she looked at Dipper. "Um… you know, there's something…"

"Yeah?" Dipper asked, standing up.

"Um… I… The day before yesterday, I found out your real name," Mabel said quietly. "Well… you're kind of… my brother."

Dipper looked at her. "I know," he said with a smile.

"What? How?" Mabel asked.

"I blocked off that whole part of my life," Dipper explained. "I must have started remembering you a few days ago, because I used your name… and when I died… well, I saw everything I'd forgotten."

Then he turned to Pacifica. "I'm sorry I lied to you."

"I already told you I don't care. You didn't lie to me anyway, you really were a prince at the time," Pacifica said. "I don't enjoy being lied to, but I love you… I forgive you…"

"But this is goodbye anyway," Dipper said sadly. "I'm just a street rat again."

"I can fix that," Mabel offered. "You still have one wish left."

"I made a promise," Dipper said. "I love you, Pacifica, but…"

"I know," she said sadly. Dipper opened the Journal and turned to his twin sister.

"Mabel, I wish you were free," he said quietly.

Her bonds all snapped at once. In a flash of light, she transformed…

When the light faded, a teen girl with long dark hair and big brown eyes wearing all pink with a shooting star mark across her top stood before them, glowing softly.

"I… I'm myself again," Mabel smiled, and hugged her brother tightly. "Thank you, thank you, thank you!"

Dipper smiled sadly at her. "Any time," he said.

"Hey," Mabel said. "Look at me."

Dipper complied.

"No matter what, bro-bro, you're always going to be a prince. Well, to me at least," she told him.

"Truth," Dipper sighed, and hugged her tightly.

Pacifica suddenly got very ticked off, and marched into the next room. "Daddy, this isn't fair!" she said.

"You're right," her father said. "Life rarely is."

"Can't you do something about it?" she asked.

"I… I could…"

"Please, Daddy, please!" Pacifica begged.

"…I suppose he did save us," the Sultan sighed, and came onto the balcony. "Alright. From now on, the Princess can marry whoever has proven himself worthy," he declared. "I suppose saving the kingdom from a psychopathic sorcerer counts."

Dipper looked up, shocked and hopeful. "Wait, really?" The Sultan nodded.

"So…?" Pacifica asked.

"Yeah?" Dipper turned to her, beaming.

"Wanna get married?" she asked.

"Yes," Dipper agreed. "One-hundred-per-cent yes."

The two were inching closer…

"Okay, group hug!" Mabel shouted happily, pulling everyone tightly together, and then flying off on Waddles, arm-in-arm with Bill. The Sultan raised his eyebrows, and left, and Soos followed him.

" _Exit: light,"_ Dipper sang quietly to Pacifica.

" _Enter: night,"_ she sang back.

" _Take my hand,"_ they harmonized.

…

…

…

" _ **WE'RE OFF TO NEVER-NEVER LAND!"**_

THE END


End file.
